Feelings play a significant role in life. Sometimes we’re happy, sometimes we’re sad, and sometimes we’re just plain frustrated. That’s normal! However, learning how to understand our own feelings—and those of others—can help us get along better, solve problems, and feel closer to the people we care about.
This special skill is called emotional intelligence (or EI for short). Don’t worry, it’s not as tricky as it sounds—it’s just about being kind to yourself and others when it comes to feelings.
The Four Superpowers of Emotional Intelligence
Think of emotional intelligence like having four superpowers:
- Knowing Your Own Feelings (Self-Awareness)
- This means paying attention to how you feel. Are you excited? Nervous? Upset? When you understand what’s happening inside, it’s easier to explain it to others.
- Staying Calm (Self-Regulation)
- Sometimes we feel like yelling or stomping when we’re mad. But taking a deep breath, counting to ten, or walking away gives us time to cool down. Then we can address problems without exacerbating them.
- Noticing Other People’s Feelings (Social Awareness)
- This is about looking and listening carefully. Did your friend look sad when you said something? Did your brother’s voice sound excited when he told you a story? Paying attention helps us understand how others feel.
- Being a Good Friend (Relationship Management)
- When we use the other three superpowers, we can be kinder, solve arguments better, and work together as a team—whether at home, at school, or on the playground.
Easy Ways to Practice Emotional Intelligence
Here are some fun and simple ways to grow your “feelings superpowers”:
- Listen Like a Detective: When someone talks, listen closely. Don’t just wait for your turn—try to really understand what they mean.
- Name That Feeling: When you’re upset, instead of saying, “I’m mad!” try saying, “I feel left out,” or “I feel nervous.” Naming feelings helps you and others know what’s really going on.
- Ask How Others Feel: A simple, “Are you okay?” can show a friend or sibling that you care.
- Practice Empathy: Pretend you’re in someone else’s shoes. How would you feel if the same thing happened to you?
- Use Calm-Down Tricks: Try breathing slowly, drawing, listening to music, or talking to a trusted grown-up when you’re upset.
Why EI?
When we understand feelings, ours and those of others, we can make stronger friendships, have more fun with our families, and even do better in school. People like being around someone who listens, cares, and shows kindness.
Remember
Emotional intelligence is like a secret power we can practice every day. The more we use it, the easier it gets to handle tough moments, make friends, and keep strong family bonds.
So the next time you feel happy, sad, mad, or anything in between—remember, every feeling is important, and learning to understand it makes you even stronger!
Ways to “Keep Your Cool”
Calm-Down Toolbox
- Collect 3–5 things that help you calm down. Examples:
- A favourite stuffed animal or toy
- Colouring supplies
- A stress ball or fidget toy
- A playlist of calm songs
- Put them in a special box or bag.
Next time you feel upset, use your toolbox instead of yelling or stomping.
Breathe Like a Superhero
When your feelings feel too big, try this:
- Pretend you’re blowing up a giant balloon. Take a slow breath in through your nose.
- Blow out through your mouth like you’re filling the balloon.
- Repeat 3 times.
You’ll feel calmer and more ready to tackle the moment.
